Men's magazines

[defibrillate]

...are not boring (generally), which is more than I can say for most magazines targeted to women (which is sad). And you know what? The amount of naked/almost naked women in them doesn't offend me as much as the fact that there aren't naked men in women's magazines. Women get objectified a lot, sure. But most of the time when I pick up a magazine targeted to dudes, there's as much 'be good enough to win the approval of women' content in it as there is 'be good enough to win the approval of men' content in magazines targeted to chicks. I think the thing that would actually tip the scales to equal or close-to-equal in this corner of media is, in fact, equality in nudity. And I bet sales would skyrocket for anyone willing to pioneer the idea.

Well, one other thing, actually: There is a TON of content in many men's magazines devoted to learning to do things dudes haven't traditionally done for themselves, like cooking. Why, in women's magazines, are there not articles on things like how to change your car's oil? Diminishing the idea of gender roles is pretty important, imo, so how about some media support?

Maybe I should write some letters about this.

Comments

[defibrillate]

I think the idea of 'purity' is more an issue of authority and control. If you're expected to approach something much more cautiously and moderate its presence in your life much more than someone else is, chances are that the other party has a much easier time taking the dominant role in any situation related it.

I think another reason homosexuality is regarded as dangerous is that it presents an avenue for the objectification of men (and I've been told by men that identify as homophobic that that's a deeply disturbing concept to them). Not that that doesn't happen in situations only involving heterosexual people, but I think most women don't view sexual objectification as an acceptable thing whereas, perhaps, many men do.

I really think there needs to be a more rigorous study of homophobia. It bothers me that a psychiatric term is so poorly defined and freely used, and because of this it's not regarded as an illness - as much as any phobia really can be, I guess. No one is willing to admit that a phobia is a phobia, that yes, there IS a fear element involved, and it's not just the fear of being perceived as gay.

But there, again, is another issue of authority and control. Homosexuality is regarded as a problem rather than the irrational fear of it. So few people are willing to clinically, rigorously, and objectively evaluate anything, especially not if such an analysis would require them to take a closer look at some of the excuses they make for their actions.

Men feel entitled to a woman's sexuality. As a gay woman I get very personal questions about my sex life from mostly men. And they get upset when I decline to answer. That's DISGUSTING of people, I'm so sorry you have to deal with that. There does seem to be this phenomenon that when a woman is gay, heterosexual men feel that, somehow, it's intended for their benefit. Again I think media is to blame - there are more and more women portrayed as lesbians in media, and they're presented in such a way that it says to the heterosexual male viewer 'it's actually for your enjoyment.'

I think most of our society's behavioral problems would be solved (or at least better addressed) if people realized how much media influences them, and how much they trust it, and that there's absolutely no reason to be that trusting of it. But no one wants to evaluate for themselves, right? ~_~

I hope this makes sense!

[novel_machinist]

Oh totally agreed. I think that the idea of "chivalry" is so rooted in misogyny that it's nearly inseparable. Women are charged with not only bowing to chivalry but being the gatekeepers of purity (But not when the white knight expects us to panty drop)

The objectification of men is something that's talked about a lot in sexuality circles. I think that a lot of society is so entrenched in who the cis gendered straight male sexualizes (different than sexuality) that it's an affront to deviate from the norm.

My girlfriend said it best once, she doesn't like it when people hit on her after she tells them she is gay or committed because that puts their sexualization of HER over her sexuality.

And to the straight male that is tipping their power balance. How dare someone ignore THEIR sexuality?! They don't WANT that attention.

Yet they do that to women daily.

Homophobia also displays this societies hatred of the "feminine". A documentary that you may like is called "Beautiful Daughters" it's about Male to Female transgendered people and the comment was made there that they were not assaulted because of their sex, but it was their femininity that was being assaulted. To be female is the crime.

Self evaluation can only go so far. We have to stop this idea that something being "girly" is "bad". It's a hard fight to do, but there are a lot more of us yelling it than there were even five years ago.

It makes perfect sense!

[defibrillate]

I'll look for that documentary. If I can't find it online, I bet the library has a copy.

That's true, and it's hard to objectively evaluate your behaviors when you've been steeped in a society that condones wrong behaviors. I think many men truly don't mean to be harmful or demeaning, but they genuinely can't see how they're doing that. I remember back in 9th grade when my creative writing class was reading The House on Mango Street and we had a discussion on the scene where the main character is raped - and NONE of the guys in class could see why it was such a bad thing. A couple of them finally seemed to at least grasp that it wasn't good when our teacher said to imagine how they'd feel if someone had done it to their sister or mother, but that relationship implies a bit of ownership to the average guy, so I think they were more offended over the idea of someone else touching something they considered, in a way, 'theirs.'

Most people aren't morally concerned with what's right or wrong or just, they're only concerned with what's accepted. If something's 'normal' it must be fine, right? Ugh.

So I do think analytical capability - or maybe just tendency - plays a huge role in social problems like this. If you ask the average person why society does a particular thing a particular way, their answer would probably be something like, 'I don't know... That's just what we do.' Which isn't good enough. It is as long as the action in question benefits you, but if it doesn't, well... I at least find myself wishing people would take a closer look at the way they and their society functions. My number one complaint about humanity is that, on a whole, it's absolute shit at analyzing data.

[novel_machinist]

I think you're so right and that's why it's so hard to fight. Sexism isn't really out in our faces every day anymore. It's subversive. Not including a female coworker because you KNOW she "wouldn't like X" or assuming someone does Y job.

The male "ownership" of the female body is still so, SO frustrating. Did you know that if you were married and 24 and wanted to get sterilized in some states they would WANT YOUR HUSBAND'S PERMISSION?

I've found the best way to combat this is to be engaged. "Why did you say that?" or "what makes you think that?" Questioning the thought process usually comes off as less like what most think of ask "attacking".

And don't get me started on the tech industry. My never ending battle. :/