defibrillate

I finished Devil May Cry 2. And that's not all. I liked it. See, compared to the other games I've played -- Crisis Core, Dirge, Resident Evil Four, and Resident Evil: The Darkside Chronicles -- the only one that measures up in terms of gameplay fun is RE:DC. And yeah, I'm aware that DMC2 is the WORST game in the DMC series.

So, basically, Final Fantasy... I'm breaking up with you.

Pretty sure I have to divorce Rufus and marry Dante.

And I'm pretty sure, with the bitchin' strawberry sundaes I make, it won't be any problem ^^



Those are glazed strawberries with vanilla bean gelato. No, I didn't make the gelato, but I'm thinking I need to learn because how amazing would a strawberry balsamic sundae with caramelized brown sugar be? IT WOULD KILL PEOPLE. They would take a bite and explode.

PS, I already make incredible pizza. What? Everyone knows that the fastest way to a heart is through the stomach. I mean, that's even how they get to it in surgery. ←incorrect

As to the game, here are my thoughts.

The parts I hated were that you get a couple hearts/weapons way too late for them to really be useful, some of the environments really aren't much to look at, and THE GODDAMN ACCENT every character but Dante has. Fucking ANNOYING to listen to, don't even get me started... Also, the game's storyline is completely lacking, and the combat system leaves some things to be desired. Sometimes, the auto-targeting makes fights WAY too easy, and other times it costs you a ton of valuable time and is a complete headache to deal with. I wish there was an option to switch it off. In the release I was playing, the 'switch target' button didn't work. I'd also appreciate some useful air combos and a 'duck' button. Both Dante and Lucia can get stuck in combos you can't interrupt, and because of the targeting, often end up attacking empty air in the direction of the last thing that ran by and snagged your crosshair. But, possibly, the very worst thing is the camera angles. Finally, the motherfucking underwater missions. Everything about them.

The best parts were the elevator fights. In Dante's mission... 16, I think? You fight your way to hell, arrive in the Shin Ra lobby -- no seriously it does look like the Shin Ra lobby and take an elevator FULL OF ENEMIES to another floor. The first elevator is a great place to relax and slaughter stuff. The second elevator is more interesting, since a slightly more powerful enemy type spawns there. I wish there had been more enclosed-spaces-mayhem fights. There WERE some really pretty environments -- I loved the Uroboros building, and the second city you make your way through (with the skyscraper boss). As to the bosses, I thought they were way too easy, but I did really like the one that pops out of a skyscraper and Oranguerra. I also loved having a boss fight on the roof of a skyscraper, even though that particular boss was 16 breeds of boring. My favorite low-level enemies were the various types of ofinis's, goats, and mages. The Desperation Devil Trigger is pretty badass, and Lucia's special triggered attack is, too. And I like that you can unlock some silly costume options by finishing the game.

I know this game got a lot of hate, but at $4.98, it's the best little box of violent, imaginary people I've ever bought. Dante is not a classy ho.